Here’s a true story on the subject of baby names.
There is a Starbucks by my house at which I work on a regular basis. Since I am there so often there is a group of regulars that I see there almost every time. It is really “Cheers” with coffee. As I was discussing this subject with them before the arrival of my daughter, Mark, one of the group members shared with me this story.
Now, Mark is British, so if you read the quote from the below story to yourself in a British accent, I think it’s even funnier.
Mark has two (now adult) sons. They had a large gathering at the church for the Christening of each one. During the Christening of his second son, one of his aunts leaned over to his mother and, in reference to the names he selected, said:
“Gee it’s a shame that they didn’t pick something more biblical.”
What are the first and middle names of Mark’s sons, you might ask?
Adam Michael and Matthew David.
Are there four more biblical names on planet earth!!?? Are you kidding me?!
For those of you reading this that are not Christian or forget your Bible study from Sunday school, here’s some translation:
Adam: as in “Adam and Eve” the first male on planet Earth and part our creation theory.
Michael: the Archangel is actually the leader of God’s armies against Satan (the Devil) and defeats him.
Matthew: one of the four “Gospels” or sections of the Bible
David: lots of references in the Bible; the most popular of course being the story of “David and Goliath” where David slays the giant, saving the Israelites.
I found this story hilarious. It also touches on an important larger point and provides insight into how many people’s brains work.
“They really should have chosen something more ____.”
This is actually verbal code that taps into a deeper-seeded issue of people’s psyche. Allow me to translate what most people are really saying with a statement like this:
“Boy it’s a shame that they did not pick the name that I wanted. I really wanted naming rights for someone else’s kids.”
Everyone has an opinion. Even the “cool” family members or in-laws that tell you that they are leaving it up to you are chock full of them. Just ask them, and suddenly they are talking more than a politician at a fund-raiser. Watch out, they may even try to shake your hand or kiss your other baby just to show you how much they care.
Here’s my suggestion: do not even bring it up with your family and friends.
Never even broach the subject with them. That’s what we did. Do not tell them your names or what you are considering. If they ask, then you can tell them that you are intentionally keeping it a secret so that everyone can enjoy the wonderful surprise upon the baby’s arrival.
Additionally, my wife and I did not know the sex of either baby, so the whole thing was a surprise. We went to the hospital with one or two options for a boy or a girl, then made the call when we met the little bundle of joy.
When you hand your family and close friends an adorable newborn all wrapped up in a blanket, any name you share will sound adorable. (Well, almost any name).
I know many couples that really wanted to find out the sex of their baby and I respect that–to each their own. But I still suggest not telling anyone the names unless you really trust them to be non-judgmental. It just adds an element of stress and expectation setting that we, as parents, do not need to be worried about.
And, I actually do not care what you think about my child’s name. It really does not matter to me why you like certain names and not others. As friends and family members you can hopefully have the opportunity to name your own children and enjoy the reciprocal judgment-free space that I will provide to you in naming your kin.
It’s not their call. It’s yours. Don’t sweat it and pick a name that you and your spouse love. After all, you are the two people that are going to be using it the most. So pick the one that you like best.
Unless of course you pick a non-Biblical name, those names suck. But I totally trust your judgment, so I’m cool with what you choose. So whatever…